Post by Smoke on May 9, 2007 22:36:23 GMT -5
Just a short thing a I wrote about what Obi-Wan's thinking in his last moments.
Memories
The moment we land I feel his presence. And the moment we land, I know I won't leave this giant space station. Luke and Han will leave, I will not. My mind sees this clearly, a fact. What matters is that Luke escapes, and get the droids to the Alliance. I know that. I accept that. Because of my old master, Qui-Gon, I can still guide Luke. I will never truly be gone.
Qui-Gon Jinn. I see him clearly in my mind's eye as I look back through all the long years. Tall, with calm, blue eyes. He wore his hair long, with a closely trimmed mustache and beard. Though he was viewed as a somewhat “unconventional” jedi, he was a great man. Kind, strong, and wise, I know I couldn't have had a better master. I remember his slight annoyance at my almost constantly serious mood. His amusement at my strange, dry sense of humor. To me, he was a second father, the father that was always there for me.
I am entering the humming service trench that powers the huge tractor beam. I can hear the clacking sound of huge switching devices is. Edging my way along a narrow ledge leading to a control panel that connects two large cables, I carefully makes several adjustments in the computer terminal, and several lights on the board go from red to blue.
I see him dying, telling me to train Anakin, that he was the Chosen One, train him. As I remember him, I remember my grief, feel it rise up inside me again. But there is no death, there is the Force. And for Qui-Gon, this is more true. I had spoken to him, to his presence. My joy at knowing the presence of my master, the man I had loved and looked up to, who had been a father to me. He has told me, shown me the power of the Force, how death was only a stage.
Soon I will be with him again. I move around the tractor beam, watching the stormtroopers as they turn their backs to me. With the help of the Force, I deftly slips past the troopers and into the main hallway. I hide in the shadows of the narrow passageway as several stormtroopers rush past in the main hallway. After checking to make sure they're gone, I run down the hallway in the opposite direction. I as I run, I feel Vader. He is close. I hurry along one of the tunnels leading to the hangar where the Falcon is. Just before I reaches the hangar, Darth Vader steps into view at the end of the tunnel, not ten feet away. He activates his saber, and I also ignite mine.
I remember Qui-Gon's last words, how he told me to train Anakin. Again I feel the great sorrow. I failed him, failed Anakin. I see him, a young boy, hear his voice. I remember him as my padawan, his humor, his foolishness. I remember all the missions together, the times he saved me. What happened to this Anakin, who had been my brother? How could all this be gone? I see his eyes, as I saw them on Mustafar, when he ceased to be Anakin. Yellow, full of hate, rage, maybe sorrow. Nothing else. Nothing of the Anakin I had once known.
He is speaking to me: “I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete.”
I move into an offensive position, and Vader takes a defensive stance.
“When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
“Only a master of evil, Darth.” I say.
We stand perfectly still for a few moments, sizing each other up and waiting for the right moment. I shake my head and, blinking, try to clear my eyes. He is Vader, I tell myself; there is no Anakin left in him. And yet, I still see flashes, glimpses of the boy I once knew. I must concentrate, though I know with crystal certainty that I will not leave the space station.
I remember only a little about my family. Mostly I remember Owen, my brother. When I was very young, before I left Azbian to become a jedi, we would play in the grass together, laughing and wrestling. I remember little of my father's personality. He was a farmer, but he was kind and happy. My mother left when I was little, and I know nothing of her. I had a father and a brother, that was enough. As my training continued, I grew apart from my family. Though I visited them in later years, I never really returned to them.
I make a sudden lunge at the huge warrior but is he blocks me with a lightning movement. A slash stroke by Vader is coming at me, I block it. Another of the my blows is blocked, then countered. The battle seems to move in slow motion. I move around the Dark Lord and start backing into the massive starship hangar. We both stand motionless for a few moments with lightsabers locked in mid-air, a low buzzing sound coming from them.
“Your powers are weak, old man.”
“You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more
powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
It is true. If I die, I will become one with the Force, while my mind will remain.
Our lightsabers continue to meet in combat.
I see the troops charging towards me. I am trapped. Vader takes advantage of my momentary distraction and brings his lightsaber down on the me, but I manages to deflect
the blow and swiftly turn around. I looks over his shoulder at Luke, lift my saber, and stand motionless.
Vader brings his sword down.
I am gone. My cloak falls to the floor in two parts, empty. Even as my spirit merges with the Force, I hear Luke's scream. I hear anger, surprise, and mostly sadness, in his voice. It echoes through my conscience.
“No!”
As the cry fills my being, floods of memories come to me. His mother, dying, telling me that somewhere in Anakin there was still good. Holding the baby Luke, stepping out into the desert of Tatooine. I see myself handing the infant to Owen Lars, and I remember the long, lonely years on the desert planet. I remember watching him secretly, remember his impatience. I see his friends leaving Tatooine, and his longing to leave the dry planet. I see myself giving him Anakin's saber.
The stormtroopers turn toward Luke and begin firing at him. The two droids are already moving up the ramp into the Millennium Falcon, but Luke is transfixed by anger and awe. He stands facing them and returns their fire. Han Solo joins in the shooting, and Vader looks up and advances toward them.
Han and Leia are yelling, and so are the troopers. Luke is standing there, firing at the troopers.
“Run, Luke!” I say. “Run!”
Luke looks around to see where the voice came from. He turns toward the Falcon, ducking Imperial gunfire from the troopers and races into the ship.
I have done what I needed. I let my self fade away, into the Force. I see the face of my master, Qui-Gon. He smiles.
“You have come. As I always told you, there is no death. There is the Force.”
Memories
The moment we land I feel his presence. And the moment we land, I know I won't leave this giant space station. Luke and Han will leave, I will not. My mind sees this clearly, a fact. What matters is that Luke escapes, and get the droids to the Alliance. I know that. I accept that. Because of my old master, Qui-Gon, I can still guide Luke. I will never truly be gone.
Qui-Gon Jinn. I see him clearly in my mind's eye as I look back through all the long years. Tall, with calm, blue eyes. He wore his hair long, with a closely trimmed mustache and beard. Though he was viewed as a somewhat “unconventional” jedi, he was a great man. Kind, strong, and wise, I know I couldn't have had a better master. I remember his slight annoyance at my almost constantly serious mood. His amusement at my strange, dry sense of humor. To me, he was a second father, the father that was always there for me.
I am entering the humming service trench that powers the huge tractor beam. I can hear the clacking sound of huge switching devices is. Edging my way along a narrow ledge leading to a control panel that connects two large cables, I carefully makes several adjustments in the computer terminal, and several lights on the board go from red to blue.
I see him dying, telling me to train Anakin, that he was the Chosen One, train him. As I remember him, I remember my grief, feel it rise up inside me again. But there is no death, there is the Force. And for Qui-Gon, this is more true. I had spoken to him, to his presence. My joy at knowing the presence of my master, the man I had loved and looked up to, who had been a father to me. He has told me, shown me the power of the Force, how death was only a stage.
Soon I will be with him again. I move around the tractor beam, watching the stormtroopers as they turn their backs to me. With the help of the Force, I deftly slips past the troopers and into the main hallway. I hide in the shadows of the narrow passageway as several stormtroopers rush past in the main hallway. After checking to make sure they're gone, I run down the hallway in the opposite direction. I as I run, I feel Vader. He is close. I hurry along one of the tunnels leading to the hangar where the Falcon is. Just before I reaches the hangar, Darth Vader steps into view at the end of the tunnel, not ten feet away. He activates his saber, and I also ignite mine.
I remember Qui-Gon's last words, how he told me to train Anakin. Again I feel the great sorrow. I failed him, failed Anakin. I see him, a young boy, hear his voice. I remember him as my padawan, his humor, his foolishness. I remember all the missions together, the times he saved me. What happened to this Anakin, who had been my brother? How could all this be gone? I see his eyes, as I saw them on Mustafar, when he ceased to be Anakin. Yellow, full of hate, rage, maybe sorrow. Nothing else. Nothing of the Anakin I had once known.
He is speaking to me: “I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete.”
I move into an offensive position, and Vader takes a defensive stance.
“When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
“Only a master of evil, Darth.” I say.
We stand perfectly still for a few moments, sizing each other up and waiting for the right moment. I shake my head and, blinking, try to clear my eyes. He is Vader, I tell myself; there is no Anakin left in him. And yet, I still see flashes, glimpses of the boy I once knew. I must concentrate, though I know with crystal certainty that I will not leave the space station.
I remember only a little about my family. Mostly I remember Owen, my brother. When I was very young, before I left Azbian to become a jedi, we would play in the grass together, laughing and wrestling. I remember little of my father's personality. He was a farmer, but he was kind and happy. My mother left when I was little, and I know nothing of her. I had a father and a brother, that was enough. As my training continued, I grew apart from my family. Though I visited them in later years, I never really returned to them.
I make a sudden lunge at the huge warrior but is he blocks me with a lightning movement. A slash stroke by Vader is coming at me, I block it. Another of the my blows is blocked, then countered. The battle seems to move in slow motion. I move around the Dark Lord and start backing into the massive starship hangar. We both stand motionless for a few moments with lightsabers locked in mid-air, a low buzzing sound coming from them.
“Your powers are weak, old man.”
“You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more
powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
It is true. If I die, I will become one with the Force, while my mind will remain.
Our lightsabers continue to meet in combat.
I see the troops charging towards me. I am trapped. Vader takes advantage of my momentary distraction and brings his lightsaber down on the me, but I manages to deflect
the blow and swiftly turn around. I looks over his shoulder at Luke, lift my saber, and stand motionless.
Vader brings his sword down.
I am gone. My cloak falls to the floor in two parts, empty. Even as my spirit merges with the Force, I hear Luke's scream. I hear anger, surprise, and mostly sadness, in his voice. It echoes through my conscience.
“No!”
As the cry fills my being, floods of memories come to me. His mother, dying, telling me that somewhere in Anakin there was still good. Holding the baby Luke, stepping out into the desert of Tatooine. I see myself handing the infant to Owen Lars, and I remember the long, lonely years on the desert planet. I remember watching him secretly, remember his impatience. I see his friends leaving Tatooine, and his longing to leave the dry planet. I see myself giving him Anakin's saber.
The stormtroopers turn toward Luke and begin firing at him. The two droids are already moving up the ramp into the Millennium Falcon, but Luke is transfixed by anger and awe. He stands facing them and returns their fire. Han Solo joins in the shooting, and Vader looks up and advances toward them.
Han and Leia are yelling, and so are the troopers. Luke is standing there, firing at the troopers.
“Run, Luke!” I say. “Run!”
Luke looks around to see where the voice came from. He turns toward the Falcon, ducking Imperial gunfire from the troopers and races into the ship.
I have done what I needed. I let my self fade away, into the Force. I see the face of my master, Qui-Gon. He smiles.
“You have come. As I always told you, there is no death. There is the Force.”